Leaving the PCG ... Or How I Stopped Being (As Big Of) A Cunt

- Kieren Underwood

Attention Conservation Notice: A self-indulgent look at how an idiot finally stopped believing crazy nonsense. Written mainly with himself in mind, but will try to justify its publication nonetheless.

Crazy Nonsense I Believed

When I was twenty-two, I still believed that there was one god. I thought that he created a universe, waited 10 billion years, created some dinosaurs, and then, about 6000 years ago, created some humans. Afterwards, he made a Jewish girl pregnant with his own son, who he had killed–but only for three days. This son was coming back very soon–in the next few years.

There were some more details. God was fighting against a Very Bad Guy called Satan who had managed to trick all the other Christians besides our small group of True Believers into believing the wrong things. The truth was that the Bible (infallible, of course) contained some secret, hidden clues that led you to the knowledge of the whereabouts of the Lost Ten Tribes of Israel! These Lost Tribes were especially important, because they were actually the United States and Britain–countries that would be involved in the final war to usher in the return of God’s son! The Trinity was also nonsense, and so was Hell, and so were celebrating birthdays, Christmas, and Easter. Satan had done such a good job tricking all the other Christians that God only revealed the truth to a man called Herbert W. Armstrong extremely recently–in the 20th century.

Most people would be able to guess the rest of my beliefs: gays were Very Bad, so was sex before the Special Marriage Ritual. Drugs were obviously bad, abortions were murder, Kanye West’s music was Degenerate, blacks should just stop commiting so many crimes, feminists were going against the Natural Order, leftists were destroying Western society, immigrants were probably dangerous.